Have you ever wondered why someone might avoid dancing with you, even in the welcoming and social world of forró?
While forró is known for its inclusivity, certain behaviors can make the experience less enjoyable for potential partners. In this post, we’ll explore 10 common habits that can lead to being avoided on the dance floor—and, more importantly, how to avoid them to create positive connections through dance.
1. Poor Personal Hygiene
Have you ever danced with someone whose unpleasant body odor or strong smell made the experience feel unbearable? It can be so distracting that you just want the song to end as quickly as possible—or worse, you might even feel compelled to leave the dance in the middle. The discomfort and sense of disgust can overpower any other positive qualities a dancer may bring to the floor, ruining the connection and the enjoyment for both people.
I remember once having a guest student in one of my classes who was traveling and had such a strong odor that you could smell him from a few meters away. It was an incredibly awkward situation for me as an instructor. I couldn’t say anything to him—after all, he was only attending one class, and excluding him would’ve been complicated. But what was even more difficult was how uncomfortable it made two of my other students—who were very conscientious about their personal hygiene—that they had to leave the class in the middle. This experience taught me a valuable lesson, and I made sure to take action. From that moment on, I started bringing mints, deodorants, and other hygiene essentials to class, and even wrote blogs like this to share tips with my students.
If you want to dive deeper into the topic of personal care and its importance on the dance floor, check out my other blog where I go into detail about how to get ready for the dance floor, covering hygiene and other easily improvable habits that make a huge difference.
2. Dancing Off-Beat
Have you ever danced with someone who can’t stay on the beat? For experienced dancers or those with a strong sense of musicality, it can feel like a nightmare. Dancing off-beat forces your partner to make a difficult choice: either disconnect from you to keep the rhythm or ignore the music altogether. For musicians, like myself, this can be nearly impossible to do.
If rhythm is a challenge, practicing with purpose is key. Don’t ignore the issue—addressing it ensures that both you and your partner can fully enjoy the dance and stay in sync with the music. Musicality is just as important as technique when it comes to creating a smooth and enjoyable experience.
3. Lack of Basic Skills and Repertoire
Who hasn’t invited someone to dance, only to find they struggle with even the basic steps? It can be disheartening when the dance feels stagnant, making it difficult to form a connection. For followers, dancing with a leader whose movements are repetitive or uninspired can feel frustrating. Likewise, leaders may find it challenging to execute movements when a follower lacks the fundamental skills to respond or engage.
Entering a party as a beginner or feeling unprepared can be intimidating, but every dancer starts somewhere. The key is not to be discouraged by your current skill level. Instead, focus on improving and approach your partners with humility and openness. Letting them know you’re a beginner, expressing gratitude for the dance, or sharing your excitement about learning can foster empathy and make the experience enjoyable for both.
Building a solid foundation through classes, consistent practice, and guidance from experienced dancers is essential for overcoming these challenges. Online courses, like those available on our website, are also an excellent option to accelerate this process. They provide a convenient way to practice at your own pace, build confidence, and master the skills needed to shine on the dance floor.
4. Uncomfortable Habits
Certain habits can make dancing unpleasant for your partner, turning what should be an enjoyable experience into something awkward or tiring. Exaggerated movements, such as excessive bouncing or leaning too far back and throwing off balance, are common culprits.
Forró has a very particular way of working with frame and contact, which sets it apart from other dance styles. Understanding these principles and how they differ is crucial for ensuring a good dance. Forcing a posture or frame—especially one that doesn’t align with forró’s natural flow—onto your partner can feel unnatural and uncomfortable, making people hesitant to dance with you.
Holding your partner too tightly, forcing a curved or awkward posture, putting your weight onto your partner, or gripping their hand or body in an unpleasant way can quickly ruin the flow of the dance.
To create a smoother and more enjoyable connection, focus on maintaining your own balance and using a gentle, supportive frame that respects forró’s unique style. Always aim for a natural, comfortable connection that allows both you and your partner to move freely and enjoy the dance.
5. Forcing Movements
Forcing your partner into steps or ignoring their signals is one of the quickest ways to make a dance unpleasant—and potentially unsafe. This is especially true for movements like dips, lifts, or aerial steps, which can be problematic on a crowded dance floor. These moves should never be done without prior agreement, clear communication, and mutual consent.
Surprising your partner with unexpected or advanced moves can cause discomfort or even injury. Additionally, always remain aware of your surroundings. Executing large or risky movements without considering the space around you increases the likelihood of bumping into or injuring other dancers, creating a hazardous situation for everyone.
Respect your partner’s boundaries, communicate openly, and prioritize safety to ensure an enjoyable experience for both of you and those nearby.
6. Excessive Intimacy (Without Consent and/or Reciprocity)
While forró naturally involves close contact, that closeness must always be consensual and mutually comfortable. When both dancers feel at ease and choose to embrace such intimacy, it can make the experience truly amazing.
It’s important to remember that the same person may feel comfortable with different levels of closeness depending on who they’re dancing with. Adjusting to each partner’s preferences and comfort levels is key. Always approach intimacy with respect, paying attention to how your partner responds and ensuring there is mutual reciprocity.
7. Excessive Distance
Have you ever felt unwelcome in a dance or noticed your partner pulling away emotionally or physically? No one wants to be part of a dance where the connection feels distant or forced. A common sign of this is when a partner avoids eye contact or the embrace feels tense, almost as if they’re pushing away. These actions can make the dance feel disconnected and uninviting, leaving both dancers feeling uncomfortable.
When you accept a dance, approach it with openness, ready to create something enjoyable together. A defensive or closed-off posture not only makes the experience unpleasant, but it can also make you someone people avoid dancing with in the future. Maintaining a relaxed, trusting posture is key to fostering a positive connection and creating a harmonious dance.
8. Narcissism in Dance
Who hasn’t danced with someone who seemed to be more focused on themselves than on the connection with their partner?
It’s the person who constantly tries to show off, doing flashy moves and disregarding how the dance is flowing together. This can be incredibly frustrating for anyone dancing with them and leaves the experience feeling empty or dissatisfying.
For leaders, it’s especially challenging when a partner doesn’t seem to be enjoying the dance or is constantly trying to insert their own movements to fill the space or make the dance “more interesting.” This disrupts the natural flow and creates a disconnect.
On the flip side, followers can feel the same frustration when the leader disregards the flow of the dance in favor of performing overly complicated moves. Adding too much flair or unnecessary movements that don’t align with the rhythm or the connection can create a sense of insufficiency and make the dance feel forced or uncomfortable.
In forró, the beauty lies in the shared experience and the connection between partners, not in individual displays. It’s essential to keep the focus on mutual enjoyment and understanding, allowing the dance to be a true conversation between both partners, rather than a solo performance.
9. Negative Attitude
Who enjoys dancing with someone who doesn’t seem to be enjoying the experience? Have you ever been in a situation where your partner looks unhappy, makes unpleasant comments, or even tries to correct you while you’re dancing? It can immediately make the atmosphere uncomfortable and take away the joy of dancing. A sour expression, constant negativity, or mid-dance corrections can break the flow and make you feel disconnected.
Dancing is about connection and mutual enjoyment, not just following steps or performing moves. When your partner isn’t engaged or shows frustration, it affects the entire experience, making it feel more like a chore than a dance. On the other hand, a positive and open attitude creates a welcoming environment where both partners can relax and truly enjoy the rhythm and flow of the dance. Smiling, encouraging your partner, and being patient even when things don’t go perfectly can make all the difference in creating a dance that feels great for both of you.
10. Clothing, Accessories, and Other Obstacles in Dance
Who hasn’t danced with someone and felt uncomfortable because of a sharp object or hard accessory rubbing against you? Or maybe you’ve had your partner’s hair slapping you in the face or getting in your eyes while dancing head-to-head? These small details can turn an enjoyable dance into a frustrating one.
Clothing and accessories can sometimes make a dance uncomfortable, especially in close contact styles like forró. Tight belts, rigid necklaces, bulky items like fanny packs, or even accessories like large bracelets or watches can pinch, scratch, or obstruct the natural flow of movement. Additionally, carrying objects like keys, phones, or wallets in front pockets may seem like a minor detail, but it can create physical discomfort when you’re dancing closely with your partner.
For dancers with long hair, curly hair, or styles like a black power, it’s important to consider how your hair might affect your partner during head-to-head or cheek-to-cheek dancing. If your hair is long or loose, it can easily get in your partner’s face or even slap them during quick or sharp movements. To avoid this, try arranging or tying your hair in a way that keeps it out of the way and ensures a smoother, more comfortable dance for both you and your partner.
Also, if you’re carrying a purse, consider how it may bounce or bump against your partner. It can be quite distracting and uncomfortable for both of you. Similarly, wearing hats may also pose a problem when dancing face-to-face, as they could interfere with the connection or even hit your partner.
For a smooth and enjoyable experience, it’s important to choose attire and accessories that don’t get in the way. Think about how your clothing, hair, and accessories might affect your partner’s comfort and the overall fluidity of the dance. Opt for outfits that enhance the connection and make both you and your partner feel free to move without distractions.
Conclusion
Avoiding these behaviors can make a huge difference in how you’re perceived on the dance floor. Paying attention to hygiene, rhythm, attitude, and overall awareness will ensure a more enjoyable experience for everyone.
Have you noticed any of these behaviors in yourself or others? Share your experiences, and keep learning to shine on the dance floor!
If you’re curious about what makes someone a great partner in forró, don’t miss my other blog on the traits of the most sought-after dancers. Click [here] to check it out!
About the author
Rafael Piccolotto de Lima is an experienced teacher. He is passionate about arts, a doctor of musical arts, and a Latin Grammy nominee as a composer.
For him, all forms of expression are somehow related. Based on that premise, his interest and work have a wide spectrum: from a tail tux at a concert hall, to the dance shoes at a worn-out dance floor.
Born in Campinas, São Paulo - Brazil, now he lives at the NYC area, teaches weekly forró classes in Manhattan and produces some of the best forró festivals in North-America.
Website: www.rafaelpdelima.com
YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/rafaelpdelima
Instagram: www.instagram.com/rafaelpiccolottodelima/
Facebook: www.facebook.com/RafaelPiccolottodeLima/
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